When the Sasuke Obsessor Gets Drunk
by Tzigane-Akiko
Summary: We've all seen what happens when Naruto sings. But . . . Sakura! No way! gasps from collectable audience


**A/N:**_ This is the sequel . . . sequal . . . sequ . . . um, you know what I mean. Anyway, this is the follow-up of When the Orange Ninja Sings. If you have not read the previous title, please do. Otherwise, you might not understand why exactly the Sasuke-Obsessor is drunk in the first place, and thus you will berate me in reviews by saying 'Sakura wouldn't act like that, no she wouldn't!' and so forth, and those are not exactly the reviews I would appreciate. Anyway, thanks for at least thinking about reading this wierd little oneshot. After the disclaimer, of course!_

**DISCLAIMER:**

_Sakura: (very drunk) heh heh heh . . . heh heh heh . . ._

_Xia: Uh . . . yeah, I ain't askin' her to do the disclaimer. Naruuuuuutooooooo . . ._

_Naruto: (stops shoveling ramen into his gaping black-hole of a mouth and stomach) Eh?_

_Xia: Will you do the disclaimer? Please?_

_Naruto: Nah. Ask Sasuke. Doing the disclaimer is too low for the future Hokage, BELIEVE IT!_

_Xia: (sees Sasuke walking past and tugs on his shirt) Sasssssukeeeeeee . . ._

_Sasuke: Hn._

_Xia: Will you do the disclaimer? Pretty please?_

_Sasuke: Hn._

_Xia: Please don't make me beg! I already begged Gaara! Waaah!_

_Sasuke: Fine. Xia doesn't own Naruto. Happy?_

_Xia: Yay! (releases Sasuke and skips off to write story on computer)_

_Sasuke: (shakes his head and walks away) Hn. Just read the story and review so she'll leave us alone._

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To be frank, Sakura Haruno was drunk. Very drunk. No . . . very, _very_ drunk.

And it was all Naruto's fault. The baka . . . he'd embarrased her by singing that god-forsaken song in front of some very prominent ninja that morning. Ugh. She hated him right then. He'd sung his song, been the one to make Sasuke laugh instead of her, been the reason their D-class missions for that day had failed, thus he was why she was here, and furthurmore why she was slobering drunk.

The barkeeper was looking at her kinda suspiciously, so she glared at him. He sneered back, before turning and walking away to serve other slobering drunk customers. A silver-haired young man gave him a confused glace as he passed, sliding into the seat in front of Sakura.

It was Kakashi-sensei. "Sakura, why are you drunk?"

"Izz all Naruto's fault . . ." she told him in a drunken drawl. "He saaang an' made Sassssssssssuke laughs an' ruined da missionzz an' made meh come heres an' izz why ah'mmm druuuuuuuuuuuuunk . . ."

"Naruto may have his more . . . idiotic moments, but I fail to see your point."

Sakura thudded her tankard onto the table. The barkeeper hurried to fill it. "He thinkzz he'zzz awesomes an' coolzz an' stuffs like dat . . . I can sing better tan 'im any dayz."

"Really?" Kakashi-sensei raised an eyebrow. "I'd pay to see that."

"Howz aboot ah round of drinkz, if I get up there an' sings?" Sakura thudded the again empty tankard onto the table . . . again.

"All right. Mike's over there." Kakashi-sensei was obviously spirking behind his mask as he shook his head and pointed to the microphone.

"Fine, I will!" she stormed over to the mike. Tapping it, she drawled "Can I have your attention please? Ahd like to sing a song for youse . . ."

A wierd sort of drunken cheering (sounding more like moans) went up, and Sakura grinned.

_"It was homecoming night at my high school . . ._

_Everyone was there, it was totally cool._

_I was so excited, I almost wet my jeans!_

_'Cuz my best friend Debbie was Homecoming Queen!" _Half the people there probably didn't know what a 'homecoming queen' was, but they grinned anyway.

_"She looked so pretty in pink chiffon!_

_Riding the float with her tiara on . . ._

_Holding this humongous boquet in her hand_

_She looked straight out of Disneyland!"_ Sakura spoke the next part. "You know, like the Cinderalla ride?! Definetely an E-ticket!" A couple drunken women repeated her 'E-ticket'.

_"The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked!" _"Was stoked!"

_I mean, it was like the whole school was totally coked or something_

_The band was playing . . . Evergreen . . ._

_Then all of a sudden, somebody screeeeamed!"_

Sakura accompanied her line with a sweeping point to her left, where a girl sang out

_"Everyone, look out! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!"_

The band kicked in, and Sakura beamed. Naruto hadn't had a band, haha!

_"Everybody, run! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!_

_Everybody run; the Homecoming Queen has got a gun!"_

_"Debbie's smiling, and waving her gun_

_Picking off cheerleaders one by one!_

_Oh, Buffie's pompom just blew to bits!_

_Oh no, Mitzie's head just did the splits!_

_Gawd, my best friend's off on a shooting spree . . ._

_Stop it Debbie, you're embarrasing me!_

_How could you do what you just did . . . ?!_

_. . . are you having a really bad period?" _Kakashi-sensei's eyebrow shot to the roof at that one as he stared at Sakura, unbelieving that she of all people would say that in front of a crowd, no matter how drunk.

_"Everybody, run! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!_

_Everybody run; the Homecoming Queen has got a gun!"_

_"Stop it Debbie, you're making a mess_

_Powder burns, all over your dress!"_

_"An hour later, the cops had arrived_

_But by then, the entire glee club had died!_

_You wouldn't what they brought to stop her_

_Tear gas, machine guns . . . even a chopper!"_

_"Throw down your gun and come out of the float!"_

_"Debbie didn't listen to what the cops said_

_She aimed, and shot, and now the math teacher's dead!_

_It's sad, but . . . actually a relief_

_I mean, we had this really big test coming up next week!"_

_"Everybody, run! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!_

_Everybody run; the Homecoming Queen has got a gun!"_

_"Debbie's really having a blast;_

_She's wasted half of the class!"_

_"The cops fired a warningshot that blew her off the float_

_I tried to scream 'Duck!' but it stuck in my throat!_

_She hit the ground and did a flip, it was real acrobatic_

_But I was crying so hard I couldn't work my instamatic_

_I ran down to Debbie . . . I had to find out . . ._

_What made her do it? What made her freak out?_

_I saw that the bullet had got her right in ear_

_I knew then that the end . . . was near . . ."_

Sakura spoke most of the rest.

"I ran down and said (in her good ear) 'Debbie! Why'd you do it?!' She raised her head, smiled and said 'I-I did it . . . for Johnny.' Johnny? Well, like, who's Johnny? Does anyone here know Johnny? Are you Johnny? There was this one guy named Johnny, but he was a total geek, always had food in his braces. Answer me Debbie, who's Johnny?! Oh gawd, this is like that movie Citizen Kane where you later find out Rosebud is a sled?! But we'll never know who Johnny was 'cuz she's like . . . dead!"

The music kicked back in again, and the girls finished.

_"Everybody, run! The Homecoming Queen's got a gun!"_

_Everybody, run . . ._

_Everybody, run . . ._

_Everybody run; the Homecoming Queen has got a gun . . ."_

Sakura sauntered over to Kakashi-sensei looking extremely smug with herself. The look only strengthened when she saw that Naruto and Sasuke were sitting at the table she'd vacated.

"Hi Sasuke-kun! . . . Naruto . . ." Sasuke recieved a beaming, still drunken smile, while Naruto recieved a very death-filled glare. While Sasuke ignored Sakura as always, Naruto rubbed the back of his head in confusion. Why was Sakura glaring at him? And why was Sasuke turning red in the face?

"So, how was I???" Sakura huffed at Kakashi-sensei.

"Well . . ." Kakashi-sensei looked at Sasuke, whose redness only brightened as he waved for his teacher to continue. " . . . while the song was funny and all . . ."

"Yes, yes?!" Sakura urged.

" . . . it was very off-key."

Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi-sensei howled with laughter. Sakura blinked, then (still being drunk and not having the slightest clue as to what was going on anyway) joined in.

However, Kakashi-sensei would not pity her headache in the morning, nor her confusion as to why Naruto and Sasuke would crack up anytime they saw her.


End file.
